Observation 4
One observation from 25 years of building businesses and leading teams.
20 August 2026
Leaders often say they want honest feedback.
Until the feedback becomes uncomfortable.
A few years ago, there was a situation that needed to be addressed urgently. A particular team was facing severe client backlash over an approach the company had adopted.
A core team was formed to oversee the situation and work towards resolving it. I was part of that team.
There were multiple discussions with the internal team and with clients. We were trying to understand what had gone wrong and how best to address it.
I still remember one of those meetings.
A senior manager was leading the discussion with his team while we observed.
He conducted the meeting professionally. He explained the rationale behind the change and why he believed it would benefit both the team and clients in the medium to long term.
The team listened attentively.
Then he asked:
“You can be absolutely upfront. I just want to hear the truth. Tell me honestly what you think about this change and why.”
A couple of team members started sharing their concerns.
He responded calmly.
Then he encouraged everyone else to speak up.
“Don’t worry. Just tell me honestly.”
That seemed to give people permission.
More people started speaking.
More questions came up.
More concerns surfaced.
And gradually, the tone of the meeting changed.
The manager became visibly uncomfortable.
By the time the meeting ended, the outcome was very different from what I had expected.
The manager was angry.
A couple of team members were called out publicly for not “thinking about the company”.
Others were questioned about their “team spirit”.
Instead of creating clarity, the meeting left more confusion behind.
Later, I overheard a few team members joking about the meeting:
“When nothing needs to be agreed with us, why ask for our honest opinion?”
They weren’t really joking.
They felt cheated.
I later asked him why he had repeatedly encouraged the team to share their honest views.
His answer stayed with me.
“This is my style of working. People start believing they are heard. I like to lead the team like that.”
A few weeks later, I observed another meeting with the same manager.
Again, he asked:
“Tell me honestly what you think.”
This time, nobody said much.
The room had learnt something from the previous meeting.
I’ve seen variations of this happen more than once.
We ask for honesty.
Someone gives it.
We don’t like what we hear.
And our reaction teaches everyone else what “honesty” really means.
Perhaps the difficult part isn’t creating a culture where people can speak honestly.
Perhaps it is learning how to listen to what they say without immediately reacting to it.
Just an observation.